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A Guide to Writing an Elegant and Modern Love Letter

February 14, 2017

Let’s face it: You are probably here because you want to write a beautiful love letter without sounding too cheesy, but you have absolutely no idea how to. Hence, you seek for my advice which you shall receive. Or you are here because you are single and bored. In this case, you must be fun at parties.

Disclaimer: I’m not responsible if you get dumped for still writing a crappy love letter or detained for repeatedly spamming your love interest with vague love letters that lack depth, clarity, and flair. Nevertheless, I shall be partially responsible if you wow your lover/Valentine by successfully constructing an eye-catching love letter utilizing the tips in this guide.


This article consists of two parts.

Part one consists of the guide to writing an eloquent love letter.

Part two consists of an exclusive love letter that I have crafted for Valentines Day 2017 which will serve as an example of what one letter could look like. (Also happens to be the day this article has been published.)

If you don’t care about part one and just want to read my letter, you can just scroll down to part two.


Part 1) Below are some of the tips that can assist you in writing an elegant love letter while still being able to maintain an undertone of modernity:

Body & Salutation

The body of a love letter is significant as the person you’re describing is essentially the subject that you are going to have to explain and describe. Keep in mind that the recipient will not always be roused by your fascination to their physical assets.

Thus, you should place emphasis on your choice of words. Recall that your sweetheart doesn’t “smell” good; her “redolence” is delightful. If you say that she smells good, then you might as well enroll in an ESL level one course. (English as a Second Language)

Starting at the beginning of the letter may be the most difficult part for you. If you find yourself stuck in the first paragraph, consider using a quotation. Perhaps search on the internet for some classic inspirational Shakespeare quotes.

Sometimes simple is the best. For instance, the 18th president of the United States infused his love letters with blank spaces. Why? Because the president couldn’t find words that convey his true feelings for her. He ended up marrying her. That’s some powerful stuff there. I’m not saying to use blank spaces in your letter, but just take into consideration the goodness of simplicity. However, note that oversimplification can potentially hinder you from genuinely expressing your feelings.

Oh yeah and for salutation: Write whatever you want as long as it’s not “Dear Creature,” “I’m in love,” or “Hello there beautiful,” My salutation in part two is only one word.

Metaphors

You should utilize metaphors. If you have no idea what a metaphor is, DM on Twitter. Just kidding. Figure it out yourself or rent an X-Men film.

Don’t employ anything that signifies adorable foolishness. You aren’t 12 for god sakes. (If you are 12, go back and read the disclaimer at the beginning of this article.)

Avoid using metaphors that correlate to pecuniary. This means that the last thing you want to do is apply egotism of what a magnificent investment your darling is.

If your beloved is a female, an analogy of a flower may be drawn. In my letter, I make a reference to an angel to establish a kind of imagery that masterfully captures that moment of emotions. Nonetheless, you should be aware that roses and oysters are linked to love since they parallel a wonderful part of the female bodily structure. FYI, the shell of an oyster consists of a rough exterior shell which many guys like me feel overwhelmed by it. Therefore, you should note every connotation of the metaphors sprinkled.

Elegance

This section is my favorite part. Why? Ask Justin Trudeau. Anyways, you are probably wondering what I mean by elegance. Elegance refers to a cultivation of simplicity instead of a proliferation of overabundance. Elegance produces wit and sentiment instead of melodrama. Refine your prose up till some sentences may exhilarate the recipient.

Be sure to take a look at my letter in part two which illustrates the true essence of elegance.

Grammar

Perhaps one of the most difficult aspects for many individuals is grammar. If you suck at grammar, there isn’t much I can help you with. You may be doomed unless you take the initiative to improve your grammar.

Make more friends that are native English speakers and writers. This means people that were originally born in English-speaking countries. Avoid making friends who are international students from China since they suck the most at English. They might be good at math, but that is futile in a love letter.

Another way to enhance your grammar is by consuming more media that is English-based. This means consuming Hollywood movies, TV shows, music, newspapers that are in English. If you are unwilling to climb out of your comfort zone, you won’t improve in anything.

Self-education is a powerful tool. Go to your search engine and type in “Grammar Guide”. Click on the first link. Now study the resource.

I provide grammar lessons for 25 cents an hour. Just joking. Go away.

Cryptic

Sometimes being cryptic is more fun and stimulating as it challenges the readers to critically think what the information presented in front of them really means. Great thinkers like Karl Marx aren’t straightforward in their thinking. Unconventional is favored here.

Sign Off Excessively

Do not end your letter with “Sincerely,” “Best,” “Yours truly,” or “Thank you,” These sorts of formality portray someone who wears two thin rubber sheaths in a moment of bedroom passion for double reassurance.

In my letter, I signed off with “Truly, Madly, Deeply,” This reflects the title of a movie which is pretty creative.

Signature

You should probably use your first initial only when signing off. You don’t want to make it easier for your lover’s attorney.

I signed off with my name in full letters for two simple reasons: 1. I’m digitally distributing this guide and letter on my website which already has my name written all over it. 2. I’m fearless.

Consigning

Don’t use overnight courier services. They make you look utterly desperate for love. A better idea is to have the letter delivered under your love interest’s pillow or concealed with other objects on her desk. But don’t sneak and do this on your own. You’ll probably look creepy doing so, giving the wrong vibe. Pay someone else in bitcoins or in food (If that person is particularly large.) and get them to do it.

If you are conventional, just send it via email. It may seem less romantic this way, but it’s also the most convenient way of transmitting your letter. And you don’t have to decide on which color of ink to use. If you decide to send it as a physical copy, stick with black ink. It’s conventional, formal, and elegant. Play it safe with the colors.

Patience & Scroll Down To Read My Letter While You Wait

Permit your darling to evince appreciation without interruption. Let your work to be seen, be felt, and be shared. Ultimately, this saying holds true for a lifetime: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

While you wait, you might as well scroll down to read my letter which is complimentary. Consider this my Valentines Day gift to you all.


Part 2) Exclusive – A love letter crafted by me for your viewing pleasure.

Bon appétit.

Beloved,

Your appearance was the beginning of my lust; your eyes and your dialogue penetrated my heart; and in defiance of meticulous standards which attempted to dismiss, endearment soon overtook me. Your glamor, that voice, that scent, which I so far contemplate at this very moment, precipitated a love that is so rare these days. Believe me; I truly inclined to offer my heart and soul.

I ponder you at any moment of the day; my fretful reflections appear with all your maneuvers. The modest respire on your cheeks is a smooch from my lips, and every dream converses to you with my voice. My love attentively resembles a coat wrapped around you that shields and warms your soul.

My cherished lady, I am confabulating you since I know none that are capable of grasping and feeling the significance of words like these; exclusions do not exist, fair play does; yet, not many have the passion or patience to erase bigotry deep within them, and considerate enough to discern what lies behind them; but you are the anomaly: dissimilar, good-natured, exemplary, and virtuous.

I habitually feel that when one is beholden to another for a thing incredibly special, that obligation ought to linger a secret among simply the two of them; my love sizzles vehemently amongst the delighted insouciances of those who encompass us; those who scorn must dissolve from minds alike us; so for rationales, it is best to keep still.

Your dear words have gushed a tingling magic into my soul; indeed, it gleams a reverential, sincerity that ought to permeate the hearts of less empathetic beings.

It is redolence of a profound, benign feeling that is drifting me, that exhilarates me. Mellifluous passions mumble delicately like an angel that stretches its wings within the confines of me. I know what overwhelms me; therefore I am.

For I have descended and stumbled on yearning on my side, and I have gazed into your eyes, and now you guide me with all glory.

Truly, Madly, Deeply,

Sunny


Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ):

1. Is this letter intended for a sweetheart of yours?

          Answer: 😉

2. Can you provide me grammar lessons?

     Answer: For 25 cents an hour, yeah. DM on Twitter. Alternatively, I heard Steve Bannon was providing a high-quality workshop that revolves around perfecting love letters. I’m not certain whether this is true or not.

3. I’m writing a love letter, and a great friend of mine just called me a douchebag for doing so. What is a douchebag?

     Answer: Look in the mirror.

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